Father Abraham/The President
Father Abraham had seven sons. And seven sons had Father Abraham. And he never laughed, And he never cried, All he did was go like this. With a left. (wave … Continue reading
I Used to Work in Chicago
CHORUS: I used to work in Chicago at the old department store I used to work in Chicago, but I don’t work there anymore SINGER: A woman came in for … Continue reading
You’re a Shitty Hare
To the tune of that Bon Jovi song you love singing when you’re wasted You should have used more flour and chalk, We followed your marks, but they said ‘You’ve … Continue reading
The Virgin’s Garter
To the tune of Far Above Cayuga’s Waters (also a common alma mater tune) High above the virgin’s garter, High above her knee, Lies the secret of her honor, Her virginity … Continue reading
Finger in Your Ear
To the tune of that Russian dance song you’ve seen on a cartoon somewhere How would, you like, my finger in your ear? How would, you like, my finger in … Continue reading
Do Re Mi
To the tune of Do Re Mi from the Sound of Music. Dough, the stuff that buys me beer Ray, the guy who sells me beer (thanks Ray!) Me, the … Continue reading
Rover
To the tune of I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover I’m looking over, My dead dog Rover, That I over ran with the mower. One leg is missing, The … Continue reading
Hymn
At New York City kennels we do it different, combining the traditional short hymn with a follow-up song, to the tune of the Looney Tunes theme. Hymn, hymn, Fuck him! … Continue reading
Jesus Can’t Go Hashing
Sung to the tune of “Glory, Halleluja” Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his feet are tied together, Jesus can’t go hashing ’cause his feet are tied together, Jesus can’t go … Continue reading
Helen Keller
Helen Keller went to town, Riding on a pony. She stuck a feather in her hat and called it mffffffffaahhh!
